Dear Diana,
Thank you for your note.
Regarding ‘experiences of deep awakening’, you asked: “Does this happen to you often?” My reply is no, and yes. No, in the sense that there is really only one experience of deep awakening, and that is not actually an experience — it could be more accurately described as a shift of consciousness, or seeing, or of perception (apperception). One split-second, you see yourself and the world etc. one way, the way we have all been conditioned to see it from infancy, and the next, we see it as it really is and quite differently. One moment you are identified totally with your body/mind/personality, and the next, you are totally identified with the Awareness of that and every other phenomenon. You cease seeing yourself as one object among many and you know yourself instead to be one with the Source — you are no longer in the world, but the world, and indeed the whole universe is in you. That, Diana, only happens once, because it is not an ‘experience’ that can come and go, it is as if Awareness has awakened at last to its own witnessing of all that is coming and going.
On the other hand, experiences of deep awakening ‘happens’ to or for me constantly, because after the shift, every life experience is an experience of deep awakening. The unawakened mind imagines that experiences of deep awakening are somehow ’special’ or ’spiritual’ and is constantly looking for some kind of ’satori’ or ‘ecstatic’ mind-movement to break in upon their normal state of beingness — so that it can say to itself, “I am someone because I have had an experience of deep awakening, or whatever.”
Many truly awakened ones testify that ALL of life after the shift is an experience of deep awakening, and that includes experiences we might call, good or bad, pleasant or unpleasant etc. etc. Awakening is NOT having a so-called satori or elevated experience of some kind and staying in it, but discovering that all of one’s life is a perfect unfolding of the divine will and that everything is the Unmanifest manifesting in trillions of forms constantly. After the shift, there is nothing ‘ordinary’, everything is seen to be extraordinary and that all of life is simply an unfoldment of the one miracle. In the film, The Last Samurai the Japanese here speaks of his search for the ‘perfect blossom’. At the end of the film, as he is dying, he has a moment of great insight and declares to his friend, I see now “every blossom is perfect.” That, in essence, is what everyone sees when they fully awaken.
Next, you asked, “Does anyone stay there (in an experience of deep awakening) permanently? This question is contradictory as I said because deep awakening is not an experience. But if asked can one stay in any experience, awakened, enlightened or otherwise, the answer is no, because ALL experiences come an go. Whatever you have, you can and will lose. Whatever you can get into, you can get out of or be taken out of by one means or another. That is why it is so important, Diana, to focus your attention and your identity not on experiences but on THAT which is the Source and witness of all experiences, which you already are and always have been.
You then asked, “Is it a bad idea to long for this experience?” Diana, it is neither good nor bad. What is important is that you clearly recognize where this question is coming from — who or what is it that longs for these peak experiences? The answer should be plain to you. It is the mind or what might be called the egoic self that always wants something more or different to what it already has. It always wants something other than what presently is. Awakening or enlightenment, it says can never be this, never be here, never be now. You are not this conditioned and defensive pattern of thoughts, Diana — seize the day — this present moment!
Finally, you asked, “did you detect personal change after experiencing these “flashes”?” The answer is obviously no, because “flashes” or experiences never change Reality or THAT which always is. They may change the dream or the illusory life, and if that is all that’s wanted, then fine — one can go ahead and improve the dream by whatever means one can. Awakening or enlightenment is never about personal change or self-improvement — that stuff is all about fixing up the dream and having a better illusion than the one your having right now. Awakening or enlightenment is about self-realization or realizing Who or What you really are. It’s about waking up to Who or What was actually having the dream! When you wake up to the fact that the character in the dream that you thought you were is really only a ‘dream’ character and that all the other things in the dream that you desperately desired or feared are only ‘dream’ desires or fears etc. then you understand that you are not a ‘person’ or a ‘thing’ that can ever change or ever needs to! You see that you are the No-thing, or the Formless from which all ever-changing ‘things’ or forms arise.
Interestingly, however, when the shift occurs in a particular person or form, that form begins to change in ever increasing conformity to the love and truth it knows Itself to be. Not only does the form tend to experience deeper levels of love, joy, peace and well-being, but the context or environment of that form tends to become more harmonious and fulfilling. It seems that ALL things work together for good for those in whom the great shift has occurred. It’s a case of “Seek first the Kingdom (awaken to the truth) and all things (necessary for well-being) will be added (arise in due course as you consciously abide in that understanding).” as Jesus once said.
Your ever well-wisher,