1st. If you eat something and nobody sees you eat it, it has no kilojoules.
2nd. If you drink a diet soda with a chocolate bar, the kilojoules in the chocolate bar are canceled out by the diet soda.
3rd. When you eat with someone else, kilojoules don’t count if you don’t eat more than they do.
4th. Foods used for medicinal purposes NEVER count. These include hot chocolate, brandy, toast and cheesecake.
5th. If you fatten up everyone around you, you look thinner.
6th. Movie related foods — buttered popcorn and chocolate covered nuts, do not have additional kilojoules because they’re part of the whole entertainment package and not part of one’s personal fuel.
7th. Pieces of chocolate biscuits have no kilojoules. When the biscuits are broken, there is leakage of kilojoules.
8th. Things licked off knives and spoons have no kilojoules; for instance, when you are preparing something such as ice-cream on a spoon when making a sundae.
9th. Foods that have the same colour have the same number of kilojoules; for example, spinach and pistachio ice-cream, mushrooms and white chocolate.
Note: Chocolate is a universal colour and may be substituted for any other food colour.