Sleepwalking?
I have this desire to drop everything
Things seem such a burden
Thoughts, concepts, beliefs, personality
So much effort involved in the maintenance of this.
When I allow, life flows
When I resist, life is a bottleneck.
This silent space seems custom made for me
After all these years with myself
I’ve never really known my Self.
Could I stand to die, not knowing?
Allow outward focus to gently change its course.
Come within, where everything and nothing merge.
Childhood patterns become adult patterns
Seemingly more sophisticated
But conditioned and genetic nonetheless.
Do patterns themselves have awareness?
What is aware of the conditioning?
I’m terrified of sleepwalking through this entire life
In an unconscious haze
Occassionally the alarm clock rings
But the snooze button is big, soft and easy.
My deathbed thought would be
‘Damn, I wasted this whole life’.
~ by Heather Saunders