Letting It Go
Just as the fist is the activity of clenching an open hand, so the ego is the solidifying of open, non-grasping awareness, which is inherently egoless. Ego continually arises out of and subsides back into egolessness, like a fist tensing and relaxing again. If so it is clear that ego cannot exist without egolessness, which is its ground.Everyone has little glimpses of egolessness in the gaps and spaces between thoughts which usually go unnoticed. Ego is dying and being reborn at every moment. We continually have to let go of what we have already thought, accomplished, known, experienced, become. A sense of panic underlies these births and deaths, which stimulates further grasping and clenching.
Existential anxiety arises as a sense of impending death, a dawning realisation that the I is nothing solid, that it has no true support and is continually threatened by the possibility of dissolving back into the egoless ground from which it arose. Ego contains at its core a panic about egolessness, an anxious reaction to the unconditioned openness that underlies each moment of consciousness.
… And in the end, it is only egoless awareness that allows us to face and accept death in all its forms. Recognising ego death as an integral, recurring aspect of life makes it possible to overcome our fear of letting go. When we are not so driven to prove, justify, defend, or immortalise our bounded self, we can breathe more deeply, appreciate death as a renewing element within the larger circle of life, and embrace reality in all Its forms in which it presents itself.
~ by John Welwood